Lullaby
by londonlights
Summary: Giles considering his feelings for a certain, unlikely person and the consequences. COMPLETE.
1. Just Let Me Sing You To Sleep

**A/N: Well, this is my first fic so be nice, please. Reviews are loved (:  
Basically, this is a song-fic of Giles considering his feelings for Buffy. It doesn't really fit in anywhere with the series, since it's just a bit of fluff.  
None of the characters belong to me, and neither does the song: it is by 'The Spill Canvas' and is called 'Lullaby'. You should check it out if you don't know it already. **__

It's the way that you blush when you're nervous,  
It's your ability to make me earn this,  
I know that you're tired,  
Just let me sing you to sleep.

There were many things that he loved about Buffy Summers. He loved how, when she felt a little out of her depth, she would blush. When she thought she'd said something overly inappropriate, she would blush. On second thoughts, though, it occurred to him that she didn't care about how appropriate something was. She would just come out and say it. Yeah, that was another thing that he loved.

He loved how she was able to make him work for something. Whether she knew it or not, he would do anything for her. Anything that she asked, he would do. He was completely besotted by her, and the worst thing was that he knew he couldn't tell her. She saw him as a father, trusted him completely. It would break that trust if he went and told her just how he felt about her. No. She could never know how he felt; he would keep it to himself. __

It's about you laugh out of pity,  
'Cause let's be honest, I'm not really that funny,  
I know that you're shy,  
Just let me sing you to sleep.

Above all, Buffy was kind. He was a stuffy, British librarian and yet she still graced his corner of the school with her presence. When he made a joke, she laughed even as he cursed himself for saying something so stupid, so immature. If he could, he would listen to her laugh all day. For him, it was one of the most magical sounds, even if he was sure that she was laughing _at _him rather than with him. For her, he didn't mind.__

If you need anything,  
Just say the word,  
I mean anything.

He would do anything for her. Wanted to do something for her, more than just 'being there for her'. It was such a shallow phrase these days, especially when she had such a tight-knit group of friends. Of all the people she knew, he felt sure that she wouldn't want to confide in him. Not her Watcher, the British one who she had to put up with.__

Rest assured,  
If you start to doze,  
Then I'll tuck you in,  
Plant my lips where your necklace is closed.

He wanted to be there for her, though. Wanted to fall asleep beside her every night and wake up beside her every morning. He wanted to tuck her in, kiss her goodnight even though the necklace she wore was a constant reminder to him of her 'love' for Angel. __

It's those pills you don't need to take,  
Medicating perfection,  
Now that's a mistake.  
I know that you're spent,  
Just let me sing you to sleep.

When she was upset, he wanted to be the one that she turned to, confided in. When she was sick, he wanted to be the one to make her feel better. When she was tired, he wanted it to be his shoulder that she dozed on. When she was happy, he wanted to be the one who had caused that smile to light up her features.

He wanted to be her everything, like she was for him.__

It's your finger and how I'm wrapped around it,  
It's your grace and how it keeps me grounded,  
I know that you're weak,  
Just let me sing you to sleep.

It was becoming more and more obvious to him just how deep these feelings went. By now, he was well aware that she had him wrapped around her finger. He liked that. He liked how she had that effect on him, even if she didn't know it. __

If you need anything,  
Just say the word,  
I mean anything.

Rest assured,  
If you start to doze,  
Then I'll tuck you in,  
Plant my lips where your necklace is closed.

While you were sleeping,  
I figured out everything,  
I was constructed for you and you were moulded for me,  
Now I feel your name coursin' through my veins,  
You shine so bright it's insane,

_You put the sun to shame._

It was true: he was constructed for her, and she was moulded for him. Maybe not in the romantic sense as he wanted it to be, but all his training had been geared towards helping her develop, survive, as a Slayer. In every sense, his life revolved around her. Going back to the Council had been the best thing that he'd ever done, because it had bought him to Buffy.

His own personal sun. __

If you need anything,  
Just say the word,  
I mean anything.  
(I really do)  
Rest assured,  
If you start to doze,  
Then I'll tuck you in,  
Plant my lips where your necklace is-

If you need anything,  
Just say the word,  
I mean anything.  
Rest assured, if you start to doze,  
Then I'll tuck you in,  
Plant my lips where your necklace is closed.

Rupert Giles had come to the conclusion that he loved Buffy Summers.

**A/N. Good? Bad? Horrible? It turned out a bit more angst-y than I had anticipated, and didn't quite have as much reason behind it but I'd been turning that idea over in my head for a little while now and I'm happy to have got it out (:  
This was written as a one-shot, but I'm considering writing Buffy's feelings for Giles using the same song. What do you think? Maybe I should just leave writing well alone? Let me know (:**_  
_


	2. Just Take My Hand

**A/N. Thank you for all the lovely reviews for the last chapter. I'm sorry it's taken so long to get this one up but it's here now! I hope you enjoy.  
None of the Buffyverse/characters belong to me and neither does the song. I'm making no profit from this.  
Instead of going with the song from the previous chapter, I decided to mix things up and go with this one, by Hey Monday. It's called Six Months. You should check it out (: **

_You're the direction I follow,  
To get home.  
But I feel like I can't go on.  
You tell me to go.  
And it's like I can't feel a thing,  
Without you around.  
Don't mind me if I get weak in the knees  
'Cause you have that effect on me,  
You do._

Giles was Buffy's compass. Her North, South, East and West. He guided her, showed her the way to go when she would have otherwise had no idea. He gave her encouragement when she needed it, and tried to dissuade her more stupid ideas. All the while, he was gentle. Devoted. He had been the one to make her realise that this Slayer thing wasn't all bad, especially if she got him out of it. That was one good thing, at least, and it definitely made up for all the less good things. God, when did I get so soppy?Buffy asked herself, almost laughing. Unbidden, a small voice seemed to reply to her internal questioning.

When you met Watcher-yours.

_Everything you say,  
Every time we kiss,  
I can't think straight,  
But I'm okay.  
And I can't think of anybody else,  
Who I hate to miss,  
As much as I hate missing you.  
_  
As much as she hated to admit it, she depended on Giles. Not only for financial support since her mom died, or even emotional support for the same reason, but she _depended _on him. A day spent without seeing him was a day wasted, to her. She depended on him to make his silly little jokes that she secretly didn't find so silly, and his bumbling awkwardness. She depended on his reliability, the fact that he was always there for her when nobody else was. He was safe, reliable. Giles. _Her _Giles.

_Months going strong now,  
And no goodbye.  
Unconditional.  
Unoriginal.  
Always by my side.  
Meant to be together,  
Meant for no one but each other.  
You love me,  
I love you harder.  
So._

They'd been thrown together some time ago, and not once had she felt that she was without him. He was always there, a shoulder to cry on or simply someone who could make a killer cup of tea. No matter how much she pretended she hated it, it wasn't true. Tea was an essential part of Giles, a part that she'd come to love simply because it reminded her of him.

Thing was, he only saw her as a daughter. He'd made that clear. At the time, she'd been okay with that but as time had gone by, and she realised just how much she loved being with him, that had changed. How much more she wanted now. It hurt that there was never going to be anything more between them, but she had to settle for what they had. She didn't want to drive him off by laying it all out on the line. He saw her as a daughter, and that would never change. He's stolen her heart and didn't even know. She wanted to know he'd done it so subtly, how he'd done it without her even realising. Wanted to know how he'd done it so she could work that magic on him. If only he knew how much she wanted- craved- something more from him.

_Everything you say,_  
_Every time we kiss,_  
_I can't think straight._  
_But I'm okay._  
_And I can't think of anybody else,_  
_Who I hate to miss,_  
_As much as I hate missing you._

_So, please, give your hand._  
_So, please,_  
_Give me a lesson on how to steal,_  
_Steal the heart,_  
_As fast as you stole mine,_  
_As you stole mine._  
_Yeah..._

He's stolen her heart and didn't even know. She wanted to know how he'd done it so subtly, how he'd done it without her even realising. Wanted to know how he'd done it so she could work that magic on him. If only he knew how much she wanted- craved- something more from him.

It was now that she decided to take matters into her own hands. He needed to know how she felt in case, God forbid, something did happen. It was only fair that he did know. It was only fair that she was honest with him.

With that in mind, and her heart beating a way out of her throat, she planned her grand revelation. There was a small stream just outside of town, a perfect little spot for revelations of this kind. It was isolated, romantic.

It was perfect.

With the stage set, all it needed now was its main player.__

Oh,  
Everything you say,  
Every time we kiss,  
I can't think straight.  
But I'm okay.  
And I can't think of anybody else  
Who I hate to miss,  
As much as I hate missing you.

She found him just where she expected him to be: at his flat, pouring over one of his books. Just what he thought needed researching she didn't know, but loved the image of him pottering around his flat, barefooted with his sleeves rolled up. Book in one hand, tea in the other. A very Giles-like look, but much more relaxed than she was used to seeing. But seeing him was enough to make her day that much better.

Buffy let herself in, shutting the door behind her. In one hand she had a large wicker basket, with a red and white check blanket perched on top. The other was empty.

"Hey, Giles!" She pretended to be her normal, perky self despite her heart thudding double time. When had she ever been this nervous? She couldn't remember.

He started, sloshing cold tea over the rim of his cup. Clearly he hadn't heard her come in, as absorbed in his book as he was.

"Buffy," he said, looking surprised. "What a pleasant surprise. Come in, sit down." He gestured, setting the book on a table to dry his hand. To his surprise, she shook her head.

"I was thinking we get you out. It's a beautiful day out and I know the perfect spot for a picnic," she gabbled, raising the basket as if in explanation. Realising that she was babbling, she stopped, silent as she waited for his answer.

He nodded, as if entranced. Snap yourself out of it, Rupert, he told himself sternly, finally looking away from her when he noticed that he was staring at her. How could he not stare? His beautiful little blond was stood in front of him, inviting him on a picnic. It took him several seconds before he gave his answer, a stunned nod.

"Of course. That would be lovely," he smiled, stopping himself babbling just as she had done. Each was as nervous as the other, it seemed, though neither could discern why. "Where do you have in mind?" he asked, casting about for his shoes, partly because they were necessary if he was going out the house and partly to stop himself from staring at her.

With a grin, Buffy shook her head.

"That would be telling, Watcher-mine." She watched as he stepped into his shoes, outstretching her hand when he was done.__

So, please, give me your hand.  
So, please, just take my hand.

"Trust me Giles. Just take my hand."

**A/N. So I'm not entirely happy with this chapter. It felt a bit clumsy, if you know what I mean, but I felt bad for taking so long to get around to this and wanted to get something out there. As always, reviews are loved and hopefully I'll be quicker to update with the next chapter.  
Until next time (:**


	3. Not Now, Giles Not Yet

**A/N. Here's for the last chapter of this fic! At least, I don't plan on doing any more for this one. And, to try something out, I thought I'd try and go this without a song because, so far, all of the fics that I've done are based around a song.  
Here's the usual blabber about the fact that I don't own any of the Buffyverse, or any of the characters or anything else. It does, in fact, belong to Joss Whedon.**

"Of course, that would be lovely," Giles heard himself agree, without any ready intervention of actual thought. Not that he would have been able to refuse such an enticing offer, considering the promise he'd made to himself. He'd promised that the next time he saw Buffy, he'd tell her. Put it all out on the line for her, so that she knew where they stood. As people in love so often are, he was oblivious to the fact that she had similar plans, that this was all an elaborate set-up for her to tell him. In fact, he was oblivious to the fact that she had similar feelings, and she oblivious to his. To everyone on the outside, it was glaringly obvious, and Anya and Xander both had bets on how long it would take for them to get together. Xander had bet that neither would tell anyone, while Anya, in a surprising burst of optimism had bet that it wouldn't be long before the pair 'got it on'. So perhaps not as romantic as either were feeling, but it was obvious nonetheless.

There was a split second pause between her asking him to trust her and him taking her hand. The small extremity in his hand felt so right, like they had been made for each other. Silently, he marvelled at the softness of her skin, wondering how it wasn't as rough and calloused as his, with all the fighting, training and splinters that she endured. Perhaps it was just her natural beauty.

_Oh, get a grip, _he told himself again, adding that he was reading way too much into this little gesture when it was simply meant to be something between friends.

"Buffy... I, uh, there's something I've been wanting to say."

His words shocked him: he hadn't planned for them to come out so early. He didn't want to ruin any plans she had by being too forward, pushing her away, but the words were out now and there was nothing he could say. To avoid meeting her gaze, he turned around under the pretence of locking his front door, removing his hand from hers for a second to do so. In that second, a million and one different thoughts crashed down on him, each one more extreme than the last.

He worried that she'd reject him completely, as a friend and mentor, that she wouldn't let him go on and tell her how he felt. He feared that he had done just what he hadn't wanted to do: push her away. That was one thing that he didn't know how he'd cope with. Just the thought of it gripped in a kind of fear, and he was quick to deny any thoughts of her pushing him away, finding it too painful to even consider. After everything they'd been through together, surely they'd be able to work through this, as well?

When he finally turned around, the look of amusement on Buffy's face surprised him. He'd expected judgement or a kind of closed-off anger, that she'd been trying to do something nice for him and he'd gone and ruined it. If her expression was a surprise, then her next words came as a complete shock.

"I know, Giles. There's something that I've been wanting to say, as well. How about we wait, do it on a full stomach?" And just like that, his doubts disappeared. In those words, that had nothing really to do with '_them'_, she'd assured him that things were going to be okay, that she had something just as pressing she wanted to talk about with him. Probably found an extra-evil vampire on patrol, or something, and was using the picnic as a way of softening the blow. He was over-simplifying, and he knew it. For her to do something like this, it had to be something of much higher importance.

While Buffy might have had more of an inkling to his true emotions, because of his most recent confession, the bumbling Watcher was still just as unaware of hers. Her knowledge, or presumed knowledge, gave her more confidence that he wasn't going to dismiss what she had to tell him as a 'pile of old tosh', as she'd heard him call something once. It made her think that, as Slayer and Watcher, they'd become more aware of each other and subconsciously knew what each was thinking or feeling, but had never really admitted or dealt with that brand of intimacy. Was it common among Watchers and Slayers? She'd never given it much thought, knowing that they were unique amongst the world of monsters and heroes. This wasn't about the other Watchers and Slayers. It was about her and Giles, where their feelings were heading them.

Giles only let go of her hand to drive his car, not wanting to get complacent in his driving ability and drive them into a tree, or something. That really would put a damper on the day. They made it their safely, getting lost only once. And he blamed that on Buffy's directions, as he had no idea where she planned on taking them.

Once there, he made to get out of the car but Buffy stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"Can you do me a favour? Just stay here for... ten minutes, while I go do something?"

Of course, he nodded, a slight smile breaking across his face.

"Great, I'll come and get you when I'm done." Those words and a radiant grin later, Buffy was gone with the basket and blanket.

More like half an hour later, she reappeared. For the second time that day, she startled him. He'd been deep in thought about how to go about this, how to tell her what had been on his mind for some time now. He'd found no good way to go about this, no perfect words to speak to convey the magnitude of what he felt. It seemed that Word-Guy was stumped.

Buffy had it covered, though. With a happy smile, she waited patiently for him to get out and lock the car, looking pretty pleased about something. She'd found a way to reveal to Giles just what was on her mind, though she couldn't deny that she was nervous about it. He saw her as a daughter, a little voice kept telling her, taunting her. Somehow, she didn't believe it. It was more than that, and they both knew it.

She asked him to shut his eyes, and he complied without question. By now, he understood that this was supposed to be a surprise and the last thing he wanted to do was to ruin it. Anyway, he trusted her entirely and knew that she'd look after him, wouldn't lead him astray. That alone was enough to make him shut his eyes, allow her to lead him by the hand through a wooded area.

After a few minutes, he heard the bubble of a stream and fought the urge to open his eyes. He was sure that the area was beautiful, though nothing on his Buffy. After another minute, they came to a stop and his lips twitched into a smile.

"Can I open my eyes yet?" he queried, feeling a light breeze and hearing the trees rustle because of it.

"Yes," Buffy nodded, reluctantly dropping his hand and allowing him to see the surprise that she'd set out.

The red and white check blanket was spread out on the ground, a colourful square amongst a vast sea of green. A few feet away from one of the edges of the blanket, a creek bubbled, just as expected. The water was perfectly clear, sparkling as the light of the sun broke through the leaves on the trees. The thing that really caught his eyes, however, was Buffy. The way she was stood, looking slightly expectant. The way the sunlight danced across her skin and hair, illuminating her.

"It's... beautiful," he breathed, apparently very much appreciating her efforts.

"You haven't even looked at the picnic," she chastised, teasingly. In truth, her heart was bursting at his compliment. There was no way she could know he was talking about her, but for some reason, the way he looked at her made her thing that he was. Without thinking, she crossed the small distance between them, slowly stretching up onto her tip-toes.

Subconsciously, he found himself leaning down so that she didn't have to stretch so far, and then their lips brushed. It was only the briefest of contacts, but, to Buffy, it was the most potent kiss that she'd ever shared. It was like an electric shock saying, yes, this is right, this is okay. Looking up at Giles, she could see that he shared the same feelings. Watching her carefully, he leaned forward once more, pressing his lips to hers the second time, this time for longer. Breathing in, he breathed her scent, a singular, alluring fragrance. Mixed in with the scent of the flowers, the summer breeze, he felt almost lightheaded, but it soon became apparent that it was because he had forgotten to breathe out during the kiss. Breaking it off, he let out the air, looking at her in elation.

Never, in his wildest dreams had he considered something like this would ever happen. When he'd woken up, he anticipated a mundane day with his books and tea. When Buffy had shown up, it had been a nice surprise but he had never considered this was an option. He'd wanted to, God, he'd wanted this as an option so much but now that it was actually coming true, he could hardly believe his luck. His Slayer, his Buffy, was kissing him. Again and again, with increasing fervour.

At length, she did pull back, looking at him in amusement.

"Well, that saves badly thought out declarations and soppy little words," she grinned slightly, revealing to him the reason for all this. Even with the kiss, he'd never thought... Never dared to hope that _romance _was the reason for her bringing him here.

"Buffy... I-I lo-" He was cut off by a shake of her head.

"Not now, Giles. Not yet."

**A/N. So. There may actually be another chapter of this. I had hoped to wrap it all up in this one, but without them actually declaring all, it doesn't feel finished, y'know? Maybe I'll leave it at this. Let me know if you think there should be more :D  
I potentially have another chapter for Crack the Shutters, but I want to see what more people think before I continue. There's another B/G fic kicking around my head, based on an album that I recently discovered. It's less fluffy than my two current ones, so watch out for that if you've liked either this or CtS. I promise it won't be entirely angst. I imagine the first chapter of that will be up soon, when I find the time around all the school work that I have.  
Anyway. Let me know your thoughts on another chapter for this, and reviews are loved :3  
Until next time!**


	4. Sympathy Kisses

**A/N. Right. This is actually the final chapter to this alleged 'one-shot'. Heh. What can I say?  
Anyway. Thank you all for sticking with it, and all the lovely reviews: they're definitely the reason I've carried on, so thank you a million times :D It's starting to sound a bit like an Oscar acceptance speech, so onto more important things.  
The characters don't belong to me. See previous chapters for more information on that one.**

"Buffy..."

"It's too soon for the 'l' word."

"Too soon? We've known each other years, Buffy," Giles gently reminded her, ghosting his lips across hers again, just because he had recently discovered that he could. One hand rested on her cheek, thumb tracing small circles across her soft skin as he got caught up in kissing her for several seconds. He would have carried on, too, had she not pulled away.

What was wrong? Was she forgetting that it was her who had brought them here? Her who had been kissing him back with just as much passion? Like she wanted him. Needed him. He saw the doubt on her face, and his heart sank. The reality of the situation was setting in, he thought, and she was realising just what was happening. He'd been too forward, and this wasn't how she'd planned today at all. Those kisses had just been sympathy kisses, because he was 'old and gross' and she felt sorry for him.

All of this featured in his thoughts, exacerbated when she caught his hand in her own and stepped back slightly.

"Giles... I never meant for it to be like this. I had no idea that you felt the same..." Buffy breathed, shaking her head. She had suspected as much, but had all but dismissed it as vain hoping. Just because she realised that she loved him didn't mean that he felt the same.

"You have to understand... Everything I touch turns to sh-"

"Gold?" Giles interrupted, closing the distance between them again. "Look at yourself. You're the longest living Slayer. On top of that, you're beautiful, funny, smart... You've got men falling at your feet. Myself included." The last was spoken in a near-whisper, like he was worried about admitting it.

Buffy dismissed what he was saying with a shake of her head. "That's not what I meant. Look at Angel, Spike, Riley. None of them have ever worked out. I don't want to put you through that, or ruin what we already have."

"That wasn't you. That was them. It was their fault that it didn't work out. It's their loss. Look at me, Buffy." Reaching out, he tilted her chin slightly so that she was looking at him again, shaking his head with a small smile. All worries that she hadn't meant their kisses earlier had faded, and he was looking at her fondly. "You know we can make this work. You know it in here, and in here." He punctuated his point with a gentle tap to her temple, then over her heart. In any other circumstances, he would have felt a fool for saying so but this was Buffy. She was the most accepting person he knew, the most loving. It was okay to say that kind of thing around her.

His smile broadened as she nodded, giving it.

"I love you," he breathed, finally finishing what he'd wanted to say earlier. This time, she didn't stop him because she knew it was true, and that she loved him, too. In their own, unique way, they could make it work. They were Watcher and Slayer, moulded for each other. It would be a strange relationship, she felt sure, and there would be those that frowned upon the union, but she was happy and was content in the knowledge that he was, too.

"I love you, too," she smiled, stretching up to kiss him again, safe in the knowledge that he wasn't like Angel, Spike or Riley. He was Giles, the one who she'd been searching for all along. And now she'd found him, right under her nose.

**A/N. So a short and, hopefully, sweet ending to a fic that's gone on far too long for a four-chapter piece.  
I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for sticking it out!  
Shameless plug: if you enjoyed this, and like Inception, you should check out my Inception fics ;)  
I've got another chapter for Crack the Shutters (maybe) in the pipeline and am hoping to branch out into NCIS fic, too :D There's another couple of things for Inception, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and possibly a cross between the two. I have the bare bones for a fic of that, so it just needs some padding out. It might be a while before any of this gets to you, as for that B/G fic that I mentioned in the last chapter but they'll be with you eventually. I hope.  
Thank you again!  
Until next time!**


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